So I have a monthly prayer group, where we meet once a month to collectively give thanks to God, praise Him for what He's doing in our lives (even if it doesn't look like He's doing anything), and talk about what we need prayer for. It can sometimes take the form of venting. It can sometimes take the form of whining. I'm the one that usually takes the form of bitching, though I've been pretty good lately.
I always make sure I write the requests done in my little notebook, though now I'm in a new group where the leader is emailing the prayer requests to us the day after the meeting.
The idea is that we're all supposed to be praying for each other through the month, until we meet up again. And I guess the knowledge that other people are praying for us should encourage and/or inspire us to live boldly, or endure greatly, or go forth strongly, or some such thing.
And I have no problem praying for them when we meet. And I'm reasonably okay at praying for them in the week following.
But then. The week after. The next week. The last week.
I am a bad bad person. I forget to pray for my monthly prayer group!
I mean, this isn't limited by frequency of meetings! I regularly forgot to pray for my community groups when I was still attending them, and they were once a week.
(If you are a member of my pryaer groups, I'm really really sorry. And I'm being this honest in the hopes to shame myself into doing better, and praying for you guys, like, all the time. I don't blame you if you want to stop praying for me. I especially don't blame you if you want to put various poxes on me instead. I totally would.)
It's so WEIRD. Because it's not as though I don't pray. And it's not as though I don't pray for other people. I do, there's usually a group of about four people who I know are going through tough times, people I try to help, and those are the ones I almost always pray for first.
It's just that my monthly prayer group people are not at the foremost of my brain. Probably because I only see them once a month.
What happens to those prayers that I'm supposed to pray, but forget to? Do those people not achieve their goals, because I forgot to pray for them to achieve them?
Oh, geeze, Amy, get over yourself right fucking now.
It's not as though I'm buoyed beyond my own strength on some They're Praying For Meeeeee power, either. I never think about whether people are praying for me, nor am I counting on their prayers to help me do something like move mountains, or whatever.
It's like Christmas. I'm not nearly as interested in what people are getting me as I am in seeing if they liked what I got them.
Well, apparently you're not interested, because not praying for your monthly prayer group is the equivalent of not getting them ANYTHING for Christmas. Have a glorious day, you Grinchy bitch.
If I stop and think about what the purpose is behind the prayers, I think it's something along the lines of how you put the needs of others before your own. Learning to open your heart to the concerns and cares of other people. Be interested and involved in other peoples' lives. Looking out for real world opportunities to help them. If I know people in my prayer group are looking for a new place to live and I happen upon a facebook posting advertising one, then I forward that along to them.
I think ultimately, I'm just gonna have to print the prayer request list out on sparkle paper with fireworks around the edges, and hang it from my wrist. Maybe then I'll remember.
Prayer groups, please forgive me. But I totally understand if you don't wanna.