Monday, November 05, 2007

So I didn't write it, but it's still damn funny...

Mucho thanks to Winifred for sending this to me:

Everything I need to know about Christianity I learned from zombie movies.

The World is Passing Away

Sure, we all know this intellectually. Everyone is going to go belly up sooner or later, but its one thing to know it and it's another to actually live it, and realize it. But every zombie movie has a moment of clarity, when the characters realize that they may be all that's left of humanity. In 28 Days Later it becomes a major plot point, in most zombie movies it involves at the very least a few minutes of freaking out after which the characters all decide to strike out for what they hope will be more of humanity. James 4:14 assures us all that we are nothing more than a vapor that is here for a short time and then is gone. Nothing says "you're just a vapor" like a pack of undead groaning for your brain.

Humanity is more than the sum of our parts

So, modernity stormed its way to the forefront of human culture during the enlightenment and armed with the scientific method naturalism soon followed and told all of us that we are nothing more than complex, biological machines. In Dawn of the Dead, after they realize that a bite is all it takes to create a new zombie the protagonists have a debate. Should they waste those bitten now, or wait on them to turn? Eventually it's decided to post a shotgun wielding Ving Rhames on guard. After the guy zombifies he shoots him in the head. Most notably there has never been a zombie movie in which there is a moral consideration given to blasting zombies into bits. 3 John 1:2 makes a distinction between soul and body, as does many other places in scripture, but more importantly scripture places a much larger value on the soul, just as zombie movies do. After all, what says you are of little value like a shotgun blast to the head?

Judgment for sins

Eventually every zombie movie asks the question "why are the undead walking"? There are always two components to the answer. The first are the actual causal events which created zombies. Usually it's something like a biological accident, or nuclear waste, or some other zombie creation event. The second is the metaphysical question, which asks what the purpose is behind the zombie infestation. Almost always the answer is judgment. Sin eventually requires judgment from a morally perfect God. Romans 2:2 tells us that the judgment of God is based in truth. Dawn of the Dead tells us that when Hell is full, the dead will walk the earth.

There are worse things than dying

In pretty much every zombie movie there is one guy that gets bitten, fights off the crush of the zombie mob and then puts a bullet through his head to keep from becoming a zombie. Usually there's at least one soliloquy about how if I become a zombie please shoot me in the head. Matthew 10:28 urges us to consider our priorities, that is to fear the one who can destroy the soul in hell, and not just the body.


(And here's Herbie, the Zombie Pumpkin my buddy helped me carve for the office Pumpkin Carving Contest. I know it's hard to believe, but we didn't win.)

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