Friday, June 01, 2007

Enforced Secret Joy #42 – Baby Hazel’s Free Floating Hair

Check out Baby Hazel! That’s a SMILE! She’s smiling at ME! She hasn’t figured out my boobs aint feeding anybody anytime soon!

What’s really impressive about this picture isn’t the fact that I’m taking it with my right hand and still able to nail picture composition, but Hazel’s free floating hair.

Observe from a different angle (still me taking it one handed, I was able to do everything one handed except open the beer. Randolph, a fellow Small Group member, did that one for me.) :

I’m reminded of the fact that Bug, my five year old niece has a friend called Electric Hair Lily (okay, that’s what Bug’s mom, Agatha calls her). And yet Baby Hazel’s stylish vertical coif is not the result of static electricity. It’s that way ALL THE TIME. I know, we’ve tried flattening it down with our hands, and it only pops back up, like a wispy weathervane, floating this way, floating that way, anyway but back on a Baby’s head like all baby hair should go.

It’s like a radiating half sun, it’s like a hairy laurel wreath, it’s choppy, uneven, falling out on one side, and would look like what would happen if I sucked down four more beers and got out the scissors. Et voilà ! Votre beau bébé est une oeuvre d'art (vous me devez cinquante dollars)

It’s the most awesomest thing I’ve seen all week.

Dear God, thank you for Baby Hazel’s free floating hair. Thank you for Baby Hazel, thank you that she’s learning to smile, thank you for my literal multitasking act, where I was able to take pictures, hold a baby and drink a beer pretty much simultaneously. But in all seriousness, thank you that Baby Hazel’s hair is as whacked out as it is. How can you not smile at hair like that? She’s gonna grow up to be some sort of beauty queen, and we’ll all nod and wink at each other and say we knew her when she had duck lips and flyaway hair. Thank you thank you thank you. Amen.

1 comment:

Midlife Virgin said...

My friend, Deena, has a song called "Blinking" and she refers to a child as having hair "like a whacked-out bushman." I think that applies here!