The God/Church/Whatever Window

Okay, so here’s something that will be either be fun fun fun, or a disastrous failure, and really, isn’t that the only way to live your life? Ha ha ha.

We’ve all gotten those questionnaires via email like Getting To Know Your Friends! “Ever been toilet papering?”, or people tagging you on Myspace.com “Last Person You Texted?”

So I’m going to attempt, in my own tiny way, to start a new one. And because this is supposed to be a blog about Amy’s Adventures With Religion (or as I like to call it, Wrestling With The Questions And God’s The Ref Who’s Letting the Round Go On A Bit Too Long), they’re gonna be religious questions. Man, that’s already sounding like a bit of a downer, huh. Spiritual Questions? Now it sounds too namby pamby. God/Church/Whatever questions? Hmmmm.

The object of this questionairre is NOT TO JUDGE. Repeat, I’m not setting this one out there BECAUSE I’M ALL HYPED UP ON ENERGY DRINKS THAT ARE KILLING MY LIVER AS WE SPEAK AND I AM JUMPING UP AND DOWN TO JUDGE YOU! This is not one of those questionnaires that you answer, and then I email you to try and gently set you straight on the path to righteousness. I’m not even sure where that path is. I think I keep tripping off course most every day that ends in a “y”

This questionnaire, if it does sprout wings and circle the outer realms of cyberspace, is simply to get a sense of where people are on the whole God/Church/Whatever thing. If it starts a dialogue, great. If it doesn’t, no big deal. If you view this as your window to vent your spleen out about why you hate God, then go for it. If you view this as your window to praise God to the heavens for what He’s done for you, yippee too. I’m happy to have been your window. Is that the name of this one? The God/Church/Whatever Window?

Anyhow, here we go, and my answers are included.

1. Last time I went to church – this morning, to 8:45am and 11:00am services.

2. This many of my friends that I went to college with go to church – 1. She’s Catholic. Most everybody else that I went to school with are Catholic, and most of them are lapsed.

3. When I hear the phrase “Jesus”, I think this – Son O’ God, Fully human and fully divine, a phrase that slips out of my mouth occasionally as a swear word and I’m trying to do better…

4. When I hear the phrase “organized religion”, I think this – Nobody has anything good to say about organized religion, but technically, I participate in it, and it helps me with stuff.

5. Three things I think organized religion (for lack of a better word) gets right.
• Being a community that supports each other.
• Being a community that supports other people in crisis (the poor, Hurricane Katrina people when the government was still dithering over where to send those ice trucks.)
• Being a place to learn more about who God is.

6. Three things I think organized religion (for lack of a better word) gets wrong.
• The hate. Ooooooooh the hate. The burning self righteousness of some religious groups that think if you’re not exactly like them, you’re going to hell.
• The whole Let’s Kill You Because I Think You’re Evil thing that has justified war for centuries.
• TV Personalities. Seriously. The only Christian leaders on TV are whacked out folk who want you to put your hands on the TV set and Pat Robertson? Are you freakin’ serious?

7. If I were God, I’d change these three things about the world, because I don’t understand why these things happen.
• No more poverty or starvation
• No more ethnic cleansing
• A neutral platform and open minds to discuss religious differences that don’t involve killing people.

8. If I were God, I’d change these three things about this one person (who shall remain nameless.)
• Taking away their anger when they drive, because they’re really going to hit someone soon.
• Taking away their unconscious pattern of behavior of Bitching About Life As A Coping Mechanism.
• Taking away the heaviness (whatever it is) on their heart that causes them to view life as a chore instead of a joy.

9. If I were God I’d change these three things about me
• Getting rid of whatever the obstacles are in my way that prevents me from connecting to God.
• Flatter stomach, please!
• Taking away the heaviness (whatever it is) on my heart that causes me to view life as a chore instead of a joy.

10. Best thing I ever heard in church or from a religious person?
• The idea that my writing is God’s gift to me and He wants me to use it, not to compartmentalize it.

11. Worst thing I ever heard in church or from a religious person?
• Anything Pastoral Twit or his wife Twitacious says these days is right up there. I really need to stop knocking them as much as I do. If only they would say something smart.

So now copy it if you dare, answer it, send it to other people, oh, and let me know if you do, mmmkay?

I’m tagging these people, who don’t know me at all, and who most likely WON’T respond, but people whose blogs I read all the time because I like their writing, and I think their answers would be interesting.

Sassylittlepunkin.com

Dooce.com

secret-agent-josephine.com

I’m also tagging these people who I do know, and who also most likely WON’T respond because they will sigh in exasperation and say “Would you just get OFF the Jesus kick already?” And we will still be friends. Hopefully.

Yummyteece

http://bible.gideonse.com/ (okay, I don’t know him personally, he’s a friend of a friend, and I think he’s funny as hell.)

Susan

Tracyeliott

When all is said and done, though, I suspect it won’t get very far. I hope I’m wrong.