Thursday, January 09, 2014

Christmas and Starbucks Gift Cards

So I’m really sorry about that lapse in blog posting. I blame the holidays.  You should too.  Anything you didn’t get done in the month of December, just blame the silly season.

And I barely got any writing at all done over the holidays, which is highly unlike me.  I was Chief Wrangler of my Mother Who Used To Be The Phone Harpy But Now Is Chief Check Twice Do I Have Everything?  All of the time I could’ve been writing was spent reassuring Mom that yes, she has everything, the hotel key is in her wallet, her wallet is in her purse, the bag is in the car, the camera is in the bag, and my mind is quickly going to pieces (but I think hers went first).

But there was one thing I wanted to share with everyone, in the midst of the Soon To Be Resumed Animals Of The Bible blog series (because I KNOW you guys are waiting on pins and needles for that one to be resumed, amiright?)

But at the start of the holiday, and facing down the unruly and drop dead depressing wilds of LAX, I hit upon what I thought would be a great idea – I got a set of $5 Starbucks Gift Cards, and decided I would pass them out to the people working at the airport, since that has got to be the ultimate worst – working any part of LAX during the Christmas season.

So maybe handing someone a $5 gift card to make their day a little better would help, right?  Maybe? 

But people, do you realize how hard it is to give a gift to someone when they’re not expecting it?

All throughout the holiday, everyone I tried to give a gift card to looked at me like I had three heads. Like why are you giving this to me?  “Merry Christmas, have a Starbucks on me!”  I chirp to the Delta ticket agent, to the toll booth workers on Orlando toll roads, to the MCO ticket agent.  All of them look damn confused.  What’s confusing about a Starbucks gift card?  What’s confusing about Merry Christmas?

But I get it.  One time when we were rolling up to the toll booth, the worker tells us, “The guy before you paid for you.”  “What?  Why?”  I didn’t know the guy.  So the idea that a stranger did something nice for me didn’t make sense.

But I quickly paid it forward by giving the toll worker one of the gift cards (though upon reflection, I should’ve paid the toll for the person behind me.  Ah, hell.  Botched opportunity.  I’m going to hell now.)

But at least the toll workers smiled and said thanks.  The people at the airport were just confused.  I dunno, maybe I was interrupting their flow.  They were expecting luggage, not lattes.  So concentrated on continuing the flow of people, they couldn’t understand.

Man, working at an airport must really really suck if you can’t immediately recognize a Starbucks gift card.  Oh well.  There’s always next year.  Hell, there’s always Valentine’s Day!  I’ll just run right down to LAX on Valentine’s Day and hand out roses like some Bachelor reject.

Nah.  Coffee is always better.  Methinks. :)

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