Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Every Calorie Must Mean Something

So I'm done with this fast, as my lovely friend Flora got married this past weekend.  No alcohol or processed sugar for a month, and in the last two weeks, no carbs or pasta.  I'm the type of person that likes to know I did everything I could for a function where I know there's gonna be pictures.  Because I don't generally get along with the camera.  My arms have muscles, but you can't see it unless I'm atcually flexing, or hanging from a bar, and why yes indeed, that's exactly what you do at a wedding.

So I went into the wedding doing everything I could and hallelujah for open bars, and then at the sit down dinner, there was a bread basket.

A bread basket.

You know, I don't mind doing these fasts from time to time, because I think it's good to practice self control, to get experience with self control under your belt, because my overall feeling going into this period of abstention was one of confidence.  I got this, I did it before, I can do it again.

And as long as I learn something new each time I do it, it's worth it for me.  And what I learned this time around was the absolute uselessness of the bread basket.

This year has been so much about personal organization for me.  Because when I feel like things are neat, ordered, and in place, then I feel like everything's under control.  Perhaps a tiny part of that is me feeling that I'M in control, but I know that ultimately, God's in control, not me.  But God's not gonna clean up my disordered apartment, though He did give someone the inspiration to create IKEA, so there you go.

Bottom line, everything needs to have a place to go, everything needs to have a purpose, and I found that extends into my diet.  Every calorie needs to have a reason for me to eat it, everything I'm eating has to be PURPOSEFUL.  So I'm drinking a coconut water before my aerial workout, so that the potassium dose will help keep my toes muscles from cramping (and I have no idea why they do it), and it means I don't have to eat a banana.  The pineapple I'm eating for dessert is so I won't have a craving for a chocolate chip cookie.  The baked kale chips (I KNOW) is my crunchy snack for the evening, so I'm not mindlessly snacking on popcorn.  Every food item has a purpose.

But what does the bread basket do?  Those rolls, those slices of bread, they're pretty useless.  It was surprisingly easy to let the bread basket go by while I was in this period of abstention.  And once I was released and could eat whatever I wanted to, it was still easy to let it go by.  Those calories don't do a useful thing for me.  Bread isn't the most flavorful of food items I could be eating (though the one exception I will always make is the amazing Red Lobster Cheddar Bay biscuits.  Those things are the bomb.)

Pasta is different, because that usually is more flavorful, plus it comes in fun shapes like fusilli.  But if you're not a big sandwich eater, then bread isn't really necessary for you.

Soo, just to test, I did eat half of a roll.  with butter.  And it was... okay. 

I tested it again, the next morning.  Had lox with capers, on a bagel with cream cheese.  And I could only eat one half of the bagel.  Just couldn't stomach the thought of having that other bagel half in me.

Now, I'm sure I'll always love cupcakes, and pizza, and Belgian waffles (never pancakes).  And I'm not going completely insane and doing my burgers with a lettuce leaf wrap, no, I can't handle those. 

But yeah, bread, toast, even an English muffin, doesn't do it for me anymore.

How funny, the things you learn.  I obviously would've starved at the whole Jesus Feeds The 5,000 With Fishes And Loaves thing.

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