Friday, July 14, 2006

Enforced Secret Joy #6 – Yay flowers (again)

When I first kicked around the idea of starting a Christian themed blog, I did some research on what kind of Christian themed blogs were already out there. There’s a BUNCH of them, but precious few have any kind of personality. I couldn’t read many of them for longer than five seconds because I’d gag on the pontificating of selected Bible verses, or the theoretical beard stroking while mulling over various theological concepts. In short, they were flat out boring. No wonder nobody likes Christians. They're not that interesting.

But today, I am a Pontificating Bible Spouter. Don’t worry, I’m not turning into a freak, the only reason I know this verse is because I just read the chapter of Matthew from start to finish a few days ago. Plus there’s a bunch of Bible sites online you can do a search for phrases like “lilies of the field” and come up with the one you’re thinking of.

Matthew 6:28-33

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

This flower was one of ones I saw on the retreat last weekend, and I am again amazed at the level of detail and attention that God puts into slapping one of these unnamed flowers together. And how long does it live? Few weeks? A month?

I’m not one of those crazy kids that wants to live forever, never have been. I’m envious at the blazing beauty and short life of this flower.

And after the rock ‘em sock ‘em PUNCH ‘em bad news that I got from multiple quadrants today, I’m desperately trying to believe in what Matthew is saying. God crafts beautiful flowers for a month. He will take care of you. He will take care of you.

Dear God, thank you for this flower. Thank you for ALL flowers, the ones I see and the ones I don’t see. Thank you for your Divine attention to detail, thank you for your promises to take care of your children more than you will this stunning example of blazing beauty (though personally, I think the flower deserves it more.) Please help me to believe it, please help me to feel it. Please smack me on the forehead and lovingly say, “Yo dumbass, I didn’t bring you out to Los Angeles and let you go through everything you have only to rip the rug out from under you. I gots the PLANS, I do! TRUST ME, MORON! Nothing you can think of is gonna top the plans I have for you. ‘CAUSE I’M GOD AND I CAN DO SOME CRAZY SHIT! JUST TRUST ME AND SEE!”

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Amen.


RichardT said...

Hey...sorry about the bad news, honey! I have noticed in Hollyweird that it's always when you least expect it, from some odd, odd place where the breaks come. It will happen because you have real talent and drive and I have faith in that as much as anything. Just keep swinging.

Any other bad news, you know where I am and am happy to provide shoulder space.

Meanwhile, Mattiew seems to say that God will provide food, shelter and clothes. So...does that mean spaghetti straps are from God? Or merely that we shouldn't place so much importance on clothes? In either case, could it not be inferred that maybe you *could* then wear the cute top on that retreat? (Or, dare I say, CHURCH??? dum-dum-DUM!!! Mwah-ha-ha-haaaa!!!)

Midlife Virgin said...

It's an amazing journey you're on and with each new glimpse of understanding, you will get through these tough times with more insight and grace than you ever have. Finding this moment you're at, where you can just say, okay, I have to trust, whether I feel it or not, is a huge leap forward for you. I've struggled with that concept a lot in this last year and I always get something out of that trust, God always shows me there's a reason for the tough times, although sometimes it does take longer than any of us would want. And when God does show you that reason, it's sweet and it's fulfilling and it's wondrous.

So hang in there. Keep the faith... literally. It's so incredible to watch you grow.