Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Betty, Veronica, and Korean Accents

So I don't know if any of you have been to the Glendale mall lately, but there's an evangelical group that roams around there in ones and twos.  And guess who they found?

Technically, I guess I asked for it.  See, I had run into one of them earlier this year.  Their game is to look for people to talk to and they start off their pitch by saying something to the point of, "Do you believe in God the mother as well as God the father?"

The first time they tried to talk to me, I wasn't very friendly, I admit. I was trying desperately to find sweaters and Christmas presents and I didn't have a lot of time to stop and chat about gender identities for God.  So I shook her off, and went on my way.

And instantly regretted it later.  Because, you know, why NOT engage somebody like that?  What do they have to say?  Is it crazy cocoa cocoa puffs or not?

So last night, I'm at the Glendale Galleria again, this time on a hunt for jewelry for a friend's wedding on Saturday.  And as I'm dashing around, I remember that poor possible crazy cocoa cocoa puffs gal and I idly mention it to God, "I wish I'd bump into those people again so I'd have something to write about for the blog."

Not more than seven minutes later, a Korean and African American gal grab me right out in front of a jewelry store.


Okay, so here they are, what's their deal?  They are Betty and Veronica (obviously not their real names), from the World Mission Society Church of God and Betty is the leader of the conversation, which is only regrettable in the fact that her Korean accent is SO thick, there's many times where I have to say, "I'm sorry?"  And it's not about her telling me about the three parts in the Bible that specify God is "the bride."

But yep, that's their pitch, God and "the bride" a few times in Revelation, (Rev. 19:7 Rev  22:17, to name a few.)  When I point out that it's generally understood that in Revelation at least, references to "the bride" are understood to mean "the church," Betty comes back with "How can the church be coming down out of heaven?" and "How can you be born without a mother?"

Even though I told them that I'm a Christian and I believe in God, they don't let go of their stranglehold they have on their pitch.  But WHAT exactly they're pitching, is really unclear.

They really want me to believe in God the father AND God the mother?  Why?  What for?  I don’t get it.  I don’t need to get it.  If you’re walking up to strangers in the Glendale Galleria and trying to persuade them of something, you’re kinda going about it the wrong way anyway. 

They wanted my phone number, just like those pushy people on my college campus ages and ages ago, so they could call me to remind me to come to their church.  No, thank you.  I got their phone number, and said I’d think about what they had said.

But all things considered, they would do well to have someone say it without a thick Korean accent.  Says me.

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