I Actually Prayed This Prayer This Week

(I'm not proud about it, but I am honest about it)

Dear God,

I lift up to you this car in front of me. Not that I literally lift this car in front of me. Because I'm not that strong.

But I do metaphorically lift up to you this car in front of me. It was behind me, uncomfortably close, then zoomed around me, and now has cut me off in L.A. traffic.

Dear God, please please please be with the driver of this car. Please grant him patience, patience, and more patience.

Please let him be on time to whatever it is he's driving recklessly toward, because he's driving very fast for SOME reason.

Please grant him some measure of caution. Please grant him some measure of safety. Please open up his reservoir of generosity to encompass everyone else on the freeway.

And please grant him confidence. It must not be easy to have a small penis, but that flashy car is overcompensating for something.

Please grant him a bigger penis if it makes him a safer driver. It may take a miracle, but You are the God of miracles. If You are willing, You can do anything. So I pray that You are willing to help this poor poor man. You will be saving lives in the process.

In Jesus' name, Amen.