I Wouldn't Give Him An Award For It, But Still...

I finished my first trip all the way through the Bible last year, and decided I would re-read the whole thing all over again, because, I dunno, maybe there was something I missed on the first go around? Heh heh.

I think Reading Your Bible is more of a hobby than a goal to check off. My Dad, the Great Stoic Wonder, plays golf every day, weather permitting, and it’s the same course, but he does it anyway, because he likes it, it’s a hobby, and maybe he gets some sort of zen thing out of it. So if he can do it with golf, I can do it with the Bible. No big deal.

So everybody knows the story about Adam and Eve and the serpent (not snake, a serpent. I prefer to imagine a giant gila monster, and I was gonna post a picture, but those things really creep me out.)

When God catches them after eating from the Tree of The Knowledge Of Good And Evil and quizzes them, everyone plays the blame game. Adam blames Eve. Eve blames the serpent.

But the serpent doesn’t do any buck passing. He certainly could have, it’s not like the serpent doesn’t know how to lie or distort the truth. The serpent easily could’ve booted it back to Adam, saying “Adam knew better, but went along with it anyway, ‘cause he’s a dumbass, or depending on the church you’re attending, believed Eve and that’s why everything is always a woman’s fault.”

Though the Bible doesn’t record the serpent as saying anything else in this story, by not passing the buck, the serpent is essentially saying, ”Oh yeah, it was me. Check me, I duped Eve. Boo-yah on you!”

Whenever you catch the serpent, the devil, the enemy, whatever you wanna call him, whenever you catch him in a lie, he’s pretty honest about it. Yeah, I did it. Yeah, I lied to you. He doesn’t really pass the buck, does he? He’ll lie ten thousand different ways to get you to do something bad, but he’ll always own up to it after you’ve done it. He’ll never own up to it if you DON’T do it, FYI. If you manage to resist the temptation no, don’t sleep with this guy, no don’t say that awful thing you’re thinking, no don’t eat that bag of leftover Christmas M&Ms. The serpent/devil/enemy will never congratulate you for withstanding it. He’ll just kinda slink off going something along the lines of your loss, dumbass.

It’s almost like I admire him that way. How many people would actually admit they lied to you, right? You have to gather a steamer trunk of evidence to confront someone, and even then the most you’re gonna get is a shrug, a half assed “sorry” and damaged lines of trust.

But the serpent/devil/enemy is honest with you about it. Yeah, I lied to you. Because I want you to feel awful about yourself. Because that’s what I’m all about – doing my best to destroy you. How’s that going, by the way?

It’s a weird honesty, but it is honesty. Hmmmmmm.